Wednesday, March 15, 2006

America....F#ck Yeah, Revisited

My little brother Mike got back from Iraq a few nights ago and i wanted to take a moment and say welcome back. so, uh, welcome back! Maybe little isn't the right word, ever since uncle sam got ahold of him i'm pretty sure he could kill me in at least 100 different ways now.

After many long months in the sandy oven that is Iraq, i can imagine that it's a little overwhelming to be back stateside. You've got a few weeks off, so what are you gonna do? What's first on the agenda? Well mike, you need to go out get drunk, find a chick, take her hom..wait... mom might read this.

Take Two

What's first on the agenda? Well mike, you need to go out and catch up with all the family, take a few days off and rest, maybe see a priest. Have some good wholesome fun.

See you in 2007

Monday, March 13, 2006

America.....F#ck Yeah

It's been over four months since i stepped foot on my native soil, but this saturday i'm heading home, well Detroit anyway. Detroit Rock City here i come. The trip is mostly for work but by pure coincidence, i swear, it jives with some good doin's going on back in the motor city.

I think the first thing i'll do when i get off the plane is take a deep breath and enjoy the sweet smell of capitalism. Actually, detroit kind of smells like a toilet, but whatever. In my'll be bliss.

Second item on the list is to clean up at the hotel then head to Hober's st paddy's party and partake in large amounts of Guiness. The band formerly known as the best band in the world, i.e. shutup robert, will be playing. I say formerly because ever since they lost their second guitarist, i'm told they get no radio play anymore. I'm just saying.

Third on the agenda (after sobering up) is to hit Best Buy and get some radar detectors. The damn swiss 5-0 isn't getting anymore of my hard earned money and i promised to bring a few back for friends since they are illegal to buy here. The swiss and lichtenstein fuzz has taken quite a liking to these unmanned radar boxes, they're hidden everywhere. I think its bullshit. If you want people to stop speeding, tell people where they are and people won't speed (near thebox anyway). If you want people to stop speeding everywhere, get rid of the boxes and hire more cops that will move around. But neither is really the's good revenue!

Friggin extortion.

But enough about that. Aside from those three things, the trip really is for work. Meetings in Troy, Auburn Hills and Plymouth then to Danville Illinois, then back to Detroit, finally back across the pond. If nothing else i'm looking forward to some actual English conversations. There's 1 brit here who claims to speak english. We're heading to the UK on wednsday to visit a new customer, i told him i'd be the judge of his language skills. I take great pleasure in correcting his "english".

"Hey kevin, that was a big lunch, let's take the lift".

"The what?".

"The lift. "

"Do you mean the elevator? "

"Yes, the lift".


I've been taking German classes since the beginning of the year and my conversational German is getting alright...Nicht Schlect. But at work, what a different story. The German's like to take multiple words and just put them all together. For fun, here are a is fake the rest are real. Can you tell? Hell, just try to sound them out and you'll get a feel for what 90% of my day is like.











Needless to say.....when people try to speak technical German to me i usually just sort of nod my head allot and think about other things.

Anways, enough rambling...Card, if you read this, i have a special bottle of blue (it's not green) liquor coming your way. I tried some and despite waking up in my neighbors yard i don't see what the big deal is. Maybe i'll even smuggle a few cubans home. Cigars that is.

Oh, and the last word was fake. i just closed my eyes and hit some keys. maybe my german isn't so bad after all!